Kaylin and Christy tackle the topic of what true love looks like and how we bring that love to others. We talk about the importance of being fully seen to be fully loved and delve into the beauty of receiving God’s love, seeing God through the lens of love instead of preconceived notions of shame and control. How we allow God to love us will directly affect how well we love our children.




Paradox Lost, Katie Skurja


“As moms we want to be loving our kids, but if we have a skewed view of what love is or if we haven’t received love…very well, or we have really well, all of us have to explore this…what does love really look like and what does it mean to be loved and to love my kids?” –Christy

“When you’ve always sheltered yourself from being really seen, you can’t feel fully loved ‘cause you’re like, what are they loving? They don’t really know the full me, so do they really love me? If they saw all of me, would they still love me?” –Christy

“When we were in the garden and we felt shame, God did not just come up to us and be like, you guys are fine- He came and He gave us clothes. He met us and beautifully clothed us.” –Kaylin

“If I believe I’m loved in a way that brings security to me, my girls will learn that too and pick up on that, whereas if I live in any way ashamed, fearful, or hiding, my daughters will pick up on that too…It is a worthwhile goal to live fully seen, fully free, fully loved because we’ll be able to much more fully love.” –Christy

“Love does not control. God does not sit and control…love does not grasp…love does not overtake.” –Kaylin

“You can’t expect a child to just do the right thing and just love God until they have received love and felt that love.” –Christy

“It (love) gives choice, and it doesn’t control.” –Christy

“I think we can look around in our world today and see the control of a cult or a victim being controlled by an abuser…we understand that and we say that yes, that isn’t loving or correct. But yet we change and have this idea about God as that controlling…yet we say He’s love…understanding God is love…that is who He is...We almost start seeing God through our coat of shame versus seeing Him for who He is.” –Kaylin

“So many times we live our lives, sitting there hiding from experiencing this desire that we have to be fully loved and yet we have that right next to us. We have Him right next to us and we can’t see it because we see Him in the lens of our shame, and we put on different things of who we think God is based on experiences, versus seeing Him as He truly is, and He is love.” -Kaylin


Kaylin Quella