02 Finding Enoughness - Where Our Identity Lies

 

Kaylin and Christy discuss what mindsets in first-time momming confronted their sense of “enoughness” and forced them to question where they placed their identity. From all the unsolicited advice Kaylin received on sleep training her firstborn son to Christy losing the affirming titles of her career, the message “you are not enough” came through loud and clear. In this episode of The Mom Podcast, they talk about how motherhood has thrust them into an identity crisis and the joy of emerging on the other side where value is found outside of any roles or titles.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Paul David Tripp’s book Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family

Song “All He says I Am” by Cody Carnes featuring Kari Jobe

“Worm theology” is a term coined by Nate Banker of Immerse Discipleship

Music Spotlight: Artist KAINA, song Better Than

Book Paradox Lost: Uncovering Your True Identity In Christ by Catherine Skurja

Quote by author Tim Gallwey: “A flower is not better when it blooms than when it is nearly a bud; at each stage it is the same thing...a flower in the process of expressing its potential."

Quote from The Forgotten Way by Ted Dekker: “Your journey now is to see who you truly are the light of the world. The daughter/ son of your Father, a new creature flowing with more beauty and power then you dared imagine possible“

QUOTES:

“When you get into something that you’ve always wanted and then it’s not exactly what you expected and you think that’s where worth is going to come from, then it can come as a big blow.” -Kaylin

“For me, it was when I was trying to sleep train and I’m getting all these things said to me by other moms… and you feel like nothing from all the shame and judgment you feel.” -Kaylin

“Many times we don’t realize we’re putting our sense of worth into something until it gets shaken.” -Christy

“We can put our identity into a lot of things and when that fails us, we’ll just go to the next thing and realize eventually that that is also failing us and when we put our identity in those things, we will never feel enough. For me, a lot of times I’ll ask myself the question, ‘where am I getting my enoughness from?’ ...and that question can really determine if you’re going to live that day free or live that day a slave to something.” -Kaylin

“If we are getting our sense of worth and enoughness from our performance as moms, then we will be forever disappointed and missing the mark. So I think it’s really important that we as moms learn how to be stabilized in our sense of enoughness in something greater than ourselves. “ -Christy

“You are enough because God made you… and your performance never made you enough and your lack of performing well never makes you less than…God in His beauty designed us to be in God’s image so who you are is already enough and now from that place of enoughness, let’s look at how we can fulfill our roles in a better way, get the tools we need... seek out whatever support we need from a place of knowing who we are is already enough. We’re not reaching out to those things to build our ‘enoughness.’” -Christy

“I was shocked that God would think that good of me” -Kaylin

“It’s a sacred thing to view each other as in God’s image. Because of the fall, we are all struggling to remember who we are and to live according to who God says we are: as worthy, as beautiful, as all these positive things. I think ‘worm theology’ can really get in the way of that.” -Christy

“So to know ‘Who am I?’ and answering that question is ‘I am made in the image of God’... and there are other things God says I am…we are fully secure in Him, we are His children, we are fully accepted, we are whole because of him” -Kaylin

“On the days when I feel like I’m completely failing and this motherhood thing is not looking at all like what I expected, I can come back to that truth of ‘You know what? I might feel like I have nothing to give, and I might not have organized my day very well and I might not have the energy I would like to have for my kiddos at the moment… but, I can still choose love in this moment, I can still choose patience, kindness, gentleness, I still can have self-control… all these things are still true about me whether I feel them or not.’” -Christy

“Knowing that none of our actions surprise God, that’s where grace comes in. He knows us inside and out and for us to experience God in who He already is and what He’s already done for us is where we can find life. He’s already given it to us. It can be this mindshift of seeing who we are and who He is and starting that journey of living in that light.” -Kaylin

“For me, in becoming a mother and finding my worth in being a mother, and then shifting my mind to ‘no, this is something I get to do and to enjoy, but this does not define me’ really gives me freedom to enjoy my children and to be okay with failure and let failure pick me up.” -Kaylin

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